The back-to-school season is upon us. It is all about a fresh start, returning to the classrooms, new learning supplies, and more. And we parents are eagerly looking forward to sending our kids back to learning.
However, not all children enjoy this feeling of going back to school.
“I don’t feel like going back”, “Going back to the classroom makes me nervous” – this has always been a complaint among children aged 4 to 10. And if your kid is doing the same, you are not alone.
So, why do some children enjoy the back-to-school moments and others do not? Well, in therapeutic terms, we call it separation anxiety, and there could be various reasons why your child is feeling all the feels.
In this comprehensive blog, we will explore the topic of back-to-school anxiety. We will be discussing how to deal with school anxiety with various techniques and playful incorporations.
As a parent, we suggest you not get overwhelmed or upset with the child. Feeling safe and making these young minds feel secure and confident demands a proactive approach, and ChomChomTech is here to help.
Back to School Anxiety – In a Cursory Glance
In this comprehensive read, we will discuss –
- Back-to-school anxiety and how it affects neurotypical children.
- The triggers that kickstart the first-day jitters when going back to school.
- Neurodiversity and how back-to-school fear is different from them.
- Practical strategies to help a child with separation anxiety at school.
- Incorporation of games and activities to reduce anxious attachment to safe spaces.
What is Separation Anxiety and How Does it Affect Neurodiverse Children?
In a nutshell, separation anxiety is a gnawing feeling of abandonment and unease inside an individual when they are separated from a loved one.
Separation anxiety starts developing from the infant years and expands to become severe in adulthood. In the younger years, the abandonment panic occurs towards their parents or their caregivers. When left alone, they may exhibit changes in behavior, emotional outbursts, and increased clinginess.
Common occurrences include situations where the child is left at daycare or when the mother is busy with chores, leaving the child alone. They tend to create more tantrums to grab their attention and keep them engaged.
Separation Anxiety & Neurodivergence
In the neurodiverse spectrum, separation anxiety works differently. Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) are extremely anxiety-driven from a young age.
Constant reassurances, closeness to loved ones, and an environment that feels safe are ideal for their growth and development. In a contrary situation, such as being left alone for more extended periods and lacking emotional assurance, their disposition transforms.
For instance, when a child with ADHD is rarely communicated with by their loved ones, they start developing social anxiety. A public interaction, such as a back-to-school moment, can trigger mood swings, impulsiveness, and emotional outbursts.
While emotional regulation activities for kids help, they require continuous effort. Since neurodivergent kids take longer periods to adjust to separation, greater efforts are needed.
Back to School Anxiety & Neurodivergence – The Connection
Back to school – the fun transition to a new learning year after the breaks. It is the perfect time to meet old friends, make new ones, catch up on studies, and be open to learning more.
However, it also makes a few young people a little sad about leaving home and nervous about meeting new people.
For children with neurodiversity, back to school is overwhelming – to say the least. Here’s why –
- Environment
Neurotypical children thrive in a set environment – spaces and things around them that they are used to. A sudden change in this atmosphere contributes to sensory overload, social struggle, and inattentiveness.
Emotional turbulences make it difficult for them to understand social cues and communicate properly.
- Hostility
Neurodiverse children are more prone to bullying, from teachers as well as peers. A sentence as simple as ‘Why is it difficult for you to focus in class?’ can trigger feelings of unaccomplishment. Being told about their struggles intensifies the big emotions, making it harder to learn
- Change
Similar to environmental issues, neurodivergent children struggle with change. For instance, a sudden change in the teacher, seating arrangements, or the school leads to complete emotional turmoil and panic.
Back-to-School Anxiety Symptoms
As a parent, it is complicated to understand the mental struggles in the first place. For a stretch, most families find the lack of focus and behavioral struggles intentional.
However, back-to-school blues are very real for kids with ADHD, ASD, PDA, and similar conditions. And here are the most common behaviors –
- Sudden Emotional Outbursts
ADHD and Autism kids learn to mask their emotions at an early age. They control their overwhelm cues during public appearances; however, all hail breaks loose when they are back home. Their urge to suppress the natural behavior turns out to be a heartbreaking outburst.
- Academic Backlash
After the long break from academics, neurodivergent kids go through a confidence dip, leading to underwhelming performance. The adjustments they made to meet the social changes of the previous year required further readjustment.
- Behavioral Changes at Home & Public
As mentioned, neurotypical children thrive in routine. Therefore, the back-to-school episode creates a rush of sensory simulations that trigger the calm and composed. They forget the social cues they mastered and fail to remember their behavioral steps. They experience a destabilized state due to a lack of comfort that triggers their brain.
As a parent or a caregiver, even a school teacher who understands neurodiversity, watching these symptoms of a four or five-year-old with anxiety is stressful.
However, there are tell-tale signs that will tell you that your kid is going through the first day of school anxiety. Also, there are ways to alleviate this back-to-school stress.
How to Help a Child with Anxiety about School – 10 Useful Measures
At ChomChomTech, we frequently encounter a common query: how to help with school anxiety?
Well, now that you know what back-to-school anxiety is and how it affects neurodivergent kids, let’s focus on some tips to ease anxiety the right way.
For Parents –
1. Find Out What’s Going On
The primary cause of anxiety at school could stem from many things. It can be a difficult task, or being bullied by a fellow student, or worse, the teacher is bullying them.
The first step to anxiety relief for kids is to understand what they are going through and why it is triggering their mental stability.
It will be challenging for a 4-year-old neurodivergent to explain to you what is stressing them. Start by exploring their world a little more than necessary. Learn about your classmates, their study schedules, and how the teachers are conducting the class. Learn through simple methods and avoid pressuring them to discuss everything.
2. Know When to Talk
Yes, you have to talk to them about it – this is inevitable. However, the way you speak to a child with anxiety is a different approach.
In therapy, we call it the anxiety iceberg. It is a visual metaphor where the tip of the iceberg represents minor concerns they are facing at the call, and deeper concerns go to the bottom. And the fun part is, you can create a beautiful and creative worksheet to explore their anxiety levels.
Here’s how to transition anxiety into a simple conversation –
Instead of directly asking them what’s wrong or what’s going on at school, be conversational to break through their mental barriers. Ask questions like ‘How was today?’ ‘Did you learn anything new?’, ‘Is the new teacher good?’, ‘Are you seated at the front desks?’ ‘Did you share your lunch?’ Are there new students this year?’ These aren’t forceful and help you slowly enter that rigid mask.
3. Create a Calm Down Corner
The goal of a calm-down corner for a child with ADHD or ASD is to create a safe space where they can be themselves. Here, their nervous system feels regulated, not in panic mode, and they themselves can reflect on their emotional turbulences and learn to identify their triggers.
When they are not going to school, or during the break, create a calm corner like this –
- Reduce Sensory Input – Keep Everything Simple, Quiet, and Relaxing
Sensory overload reduces the possibility of calming down in neurodiverse children. Keep the space relaxing – with less noise, fewer objects, a pleasant smell, and zero clutter.
- Add Cozy Textures
Soft blankets, pillows, bean bags, and stuffed animal transforms the room into a private space to cool down. Be mindful of what your child truly enjoys.
- Add Some Playtime and Fun Activities
Keep coloring books, drawing papers, notebooks, building blocks, playdough, and similar things. These are activities that regulate the nervous system, making children feel safe.
You can also incorporate digital activities, such as focus games and emotional regulation games, designed for neurodiverse children. These digital activities are periodically relevant and keep new-age children truly involved.
- Keep a Mood Board
Create a mood chart or board, and make a routine to incorporate it every day. This is something you must be consistent with, and ensure your child builds up a habit to mark their mood.
Keep the mood board options fun, and add things like –
- Today I am feeling – and keep options like Happy, Sad, Excited, Calm, Not So Good, etc.
- Gratitude Jar – where they can write about everything they appreciated throughout the day.
- Things I did not enjoy – to add moments they would never want to relive again.
- What I Admired Today in People – they can discuss the various engagements of the day.
- Things That Are Rude – where they can write specifics that they feel are rude, and people should not do.
A simple mood board, when used every day, helps compartmentalize the various aspects of the day – the good and the bad. It helps them relive the things they enjoy or dislike in a regulated environment. As we advance, it helps them get a hold of their emotions, control the outbursts, and overcome the root of back-to-school anxiety.
4. Focus on Transition
Whether separation anxiety in school or social struggles in a family encounter, as parents, we cannot let these feelings sink in. Children in the neurodiverse spectrum continuously experience a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Therefore, the continuous struggle, especially in the back-to-school phase, only pulls them towards a greater feeling of failure.
So, here are some back-to-school tips for easing preschool anxiety and creating a transition to positivity –
- Let your kid know that you are aware of their big emotions and are all ears about their struggles. Make time to sit them down, calm them, and talk about their struggles.
- Make them understand that the fear of going to school will remain; however, to learn, they must overcome it.
- Focus on introducing pick-up moments, such as a good snack to carry or a new stationery essential that you know they’ll enjoy.
- Praise them at every opportunity you get. A simple ‘you did well there’ can be enough to lift their mood.
- Let someone know about their troubles. Since we are discussing back-to-school stress management, consult someone in the school who can keep in touch during this transition phase.
- Do not react to the tantrums. Yes, anxiety can lead to sudden outbursts; however, try to remain calm and do not get angry with their behavior.
When a neurodivergent child is struggling with back-to-school mental health issues, all you can offer is a quiet and understanding space where they can be themselves.
5. Talk to the School
Not all schools are adequately equipped to teach kids with ADHD, anxiety, PDA, or autism spectrum. Firstly, neurodiversity requires an understanding of the situation.
When teachers fail to understand the anxiety within the child, they can, in unawareness, turn into bullies. Here’s where information plays a massive role.
Let your kids’ school, including the teachers and decision makers, understand what separation anxiety is. While it is not necessary to treat these children differently, compassion and care are a must.
Kids can overcome anxiety in class with ease when the teachers and parents are on the same team.
For Schools –
While these kids spent an ample amount of time with their parents, schools play a crucial role. Back-to-school anxiety begins at school; therefore, it is only fitting that they will help improve the situation.
Here is what schools can do –
6. Orientation Days for Kids
It is all about making the first day easy for a socially anxious child to get comfortable and open up. Therefore, an orientation day serves as a welcome back day for kids to adjust and begin with a fun day.
In a natural setting, schools expect students to get back to learning immediately. For a child with ADHD or ASD, schools must slowly introduce a routine that they can adjust to and feel less anxious.
7. Open Communication Sessions
Despite a proper orientation day, some neurotypical kids can continue to feel anxious and get overwhelmed by academic pressure or the process of getting back to school.
For such kids, open communication, either with a teacher or an academic counsellor, helps –
- It is demanding to help an anxious kid open up about their fears and social struggles. However, letting them know that you are here to help speaks volumes.
- When setting up a discussion session, do not simply start with direct questions about how they are dealing with the back-to-school anxiety. Begin by asking how they are doing, and then slowly build up the communication.
- Teachers can also ask indirect questions, like how the holidays went and what they are looking forward to this year.
- The communication phase should not just stop at anxious people. Peers, other teachers, and school staff involved must be aware of the situation and how to deal with such a pupil.
There is nothing wrong with a kid being anxious about returning to school after summer. However, the issue is that they are made to feel like they are causing trouble, as if their behavior is intentional.
8. The Mindset Shift
As mentioned, everybody in the school involved with the academics must be aware of what separation anxiety is and how it leads to back-to-school anxiety and academic struggles.
A growing kid with ADHD, ASD, or PDA thrives best in a systematic and supportive environment. They must feel comfortable enough to open up and share their stories.
For a neurodivergent child to truly feel included, a mindset shift is necessary.
9. Classroom Exercises and Meditations
While a child with anxiety is involved in various activities at home to alleviate the nervousness, schools can also incorporate more.
Here are a few activities to include once in a while, especially when a new session has started –
- Breathing exercises are clinically proven to alleviate the stress that they typically face on the first day of school. It takes the harmful build-up within the body and replaces it with a positive rush of oxygen to the brain.
- Guided meditation is another technique to calm down the nervous and help these kids concentrate on the positive side. A short 5-10-minute meditation session helps the anxiety cool down.
10. Play Sessions
If yours is a smart classroom, there is no greater way to reduce anxiety in children than a fun play session.
Games like Mood Quest are specifically designed for kids with neurodiversity. It takes the children on a fun adventure, where they are asked to identify the changing moods. The game helps them understand various emotions, and with practice, they learn to recognize their emotional cues better.
Color Catch Adventure is another game designed to alleviate anxiety in children, from ages 4 to 11. It is a quick action game with an element of surprise. The more children play, the more they experience boosted confidence and better focus.
Both schools and parents play a massive role in anxiety in elementary students and preschoolers. The goal is to find the right approach and treat the young minds with kindness.
Education and Anxiety – When to Seek a Professional
While there are no rule-of-thumb days as to how prolonged back-to-school stress should last, if your child is struggling even after months, we suggest consulting professionals.
There are many forms of back-to-school anxiety – anxiety in the classroom, anxiety in kindergarten, or even among preschoolers. There is no specific age or time for when the anxiety will hit during the back-to-school moments.
As therapists, we suggest that parents be kind and compassionate towards their children. A neurodivergent child will master confidence and overcome anxiety in a calm and regulated environment.
For a digital approach to alleviating back-to-school anxiety, ChomChomTech is here to help. We offer a gamified platform for children to improve signs of back-to-school anxiety, behavioral disorders, and neurotypical struggles. Explore various emotional awareness games and mindfulness activities to improve back-to-school stress.
Download the ChomChomTech app today!
