Grief. It’s a universal human experience, yet it can feel incredibly overwhelming, especially when it touches the lives of children. As a pediatric therapist, I often see families grappling with how to support their kids through the mourning process. Children, particularly those aged 5-11, process grief differently than adults. They may not have the vocabulary to express their complex emotions, and their understanding of death is often still developing. This blog post offers some insights and practical strategies to help your child navigate this difficult journey.
Understanding Children’s Grief:
A five-year-old might understand death as temporary, like sleeping, and may even expect the deceased person or pet to return. An eleven-year-old, on the other hand, likely understands the permanence of death but may struggle with the emotional intensity of the loss. It’s crucial to meet children where they are developmentally and avoid overwhelming them with information they aren’t ready to process.
Just recently, while talking with a friend whose father had passed away, we were discussing how challenging it is to explain death to children. She shared how her seven-year-old niece, Sarah, kept asking when Grandpa was coming back. Instead of saying “He’s not coming back,” which felt too final for Sarah, we talked about using the analogy of a seed. We discussed how a seed looks like it’s gone when planted, but it transforms into something beautiful. We talked about how Grandpa was now part of the earth and the memories they shared would always be with them. This helped Sarah understand that while Grandpa wasn’t physically present, he was still a part of her life in a different way.
How to Support Grieving Children:
- Open Communication: Encourage open and honest conversations about death and loss. Use age-appropriate language and validate their feelings. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” when faced with tough questions about the afterlife or the reason for the loss. Sometimes, just being present and listening is the most powerful thing you can do.
- Acknowledge and Validate Emotions: Children may express grief in various ways – sadness, anger, confusion, or even regression (e.g., bedwetting). Acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel however they feel. Avoid dismissing their emotions or telling them to “be strong.”
- Maintain Routines: While it’s important to be flexible, maintaining some sense of normalcy and routine can provide children with a sense of security during a turbulent time.
- Engage in Creative Activities: Drawing, painting, writing stories, or playing with clay can be therapeutic outlets for children to express their emotions non-verbally. For example, you could encourage them to draw pictures of their memories with the person they lost.
- Remember the Deceased: Share stories and memories about the person or pet who died. Look at photos together and talk about the good times. This helps keep the memory alive and reinforces that love transcends physical presence.
- Seek Professional Help: If your child is struggling to cope with grief, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a child therapist or counselor.
How ChomChom Can Help:
ChomChom, our AI-powered platform for social-emotional learning, can be a valuable tool in supporting children through grief.
- Mood Check-ins: Daily emoji check-ins can help children identify and express their feelings, even when they lack the words. This provides a safe and non-threatening way for them to communicate their emotional state.
- Journaling: ChomChom’s journaling prompts can encourage children to process their thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. They can write about their memories, their sadness, or anything else they’re experiencing.
- Story Creation: The interactive story creation activities can be adapted to explore themes of loss and remembrance. Children can create stories about their loved ones, expressing their emotions through narrative.
- Habit-Building Through Games: ChomChom’s gamified approach to habit-building can help children establish healthy coping mechanisms, such as practicing mindfulness or engaging in acts of kindness, which can be particularly helpful during grief.
We recently had a family use ChomChom’s journaling feature after the loss of their family dog. Their son, Liam, was struggling to express his sadness. Through the guided prompts, he was able to write about his favorite memories with his dog, which helped him process his grief and celebrate the joy his dog brought to his life.
Grief is a journey, not a destination. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and the process takes time. By providing children with love, support, and age-appropriate tools like ChomChom, you can help them navigate their grief and find healing. Remember, you’re not alone in this. Reach out to family, friends, or professionals for support. Together, we can help our children learn to cope with loss and embrace the memories of those they have loved. At Chomchom, we’re passionate about supporting children’s social and emotional development. We offer a variety of resources and tools to help parents and educators promote SEL, including educational games, interactive activities, and informative articles Here is a quick link to an article that helps and provides tips on helping kids navigate their Big Volcanos aka emotions.
